Ojai Valley News Blog

Commentary by Bill Buchanan

While I am not a mother, I enjoyed a special Mother’s Day. Last Sunday, Bob Daddi invited me over to share a tradition he and some of his neighbors observe each year on Mother’s Day. Instead of taking the women to a nice restaurant for a much-deserved meal out, these families get together for a cookout under an oak tree in the back yard. A lot of work and effort is involved, certainly more than simply dressing up and going out to eat.

And while the men helped out by grilling and setting up, the women outdid themselves with salads, pasta, homemade bread and two of the most wonderful desserts I have ever tasted. The setting was lovely, the conversation was lively and the food and wine perfect. I had a wonderful time.

These women selflessly gave up a nice outing in their honor to instead, do something wonderful for their friends and families. That is typical of what most mothers do for the ones they love on a daily basis. It is part of why we love them, honor them and have a special day dedicated to them.

My sincere thanks to Bob Daddi, and the group of other fine people, Brian and Tina Ford, Bob and Punky Soares, Matt Soares, Ray and Nancy Pierson along with their children, Katrina, Natalie and Ryan, for allowing me to share a special day. It may have been Mother’s Day, but I am the one who received the present.

Years ago I wrote a column about mothers, in particular, my mother. My sister took the column and needlepointed the words onto a canvas, which we framed as a gift to my mother. The column could have used some more work, and the stitching wasn’t perfect, but we never gave my mother a gift she treasured more. I have included the column here to honor the women who have made such a difference in our lives.

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What Is a Mother?

A mother is someone who Ñ

Sits out and bakes in the hot sun so she can watch you while you go swimming

Goes to all your little league baseball games and cheers her head off Ñ even

when she doesn’t give a hoot about sports

Somehow stretches a meal so that everyone always has plenty Ñ even

when you show up for dinner with four unexpected guests

Gives up something she wants so you can have something you want Ñ and never complains

Washes, irons, mends, cooks, cleans, and in general performs tasks for you a galley slave would object to Ñ all without asking so much as a “thank you”

Warns you about watching a “scary” movie Ñ then sits up with you when you can’t sleep

Knows when to talk to you, and, just as importantly, when to listen

Gives up her weekend to type your term paper

Gives you a boost when you’re down, and brings you back to earth when you’re overconfident

Laughs at your jokes Ñ even when they’re not all that funny

Makes your friends feel like part of the family

Shares your dreams

Suffers more over your setbacks and enjoys your successes more than you do

Knows right from wrong — and makes sure that you do, too

Administers discipline — even when it would be easier just to give in

Seems to get smarter each year

Always seems to know what to say

Loves you so much she would keep you forever — but loves you enough to let you go your own way when the time comes

Gives everything — and asks very little in return

What is a mother?

A mother is perhaps God’s greatest invention — and I’ve got the best one he ever made.

Happy (late) Mother’s Day.